The Hare Ch. 6

The Hare shot up *ba-zing!* and started spewing random facts at Magnum.
"The-square-root-of-pi-is-apple-flour-crispy-crust. Don't-look-a-shark-in-the-eyes-or-he'll-shrivel-into-salt. Bengal-tigers-have-8-toes..."

Magnum watched as The Hare's eyes got bigger and rounder and rolly-er (it is SO a word. Look it up. No, don't. Just continue reading). He was really questioning the validity of these facts, when The Hare seemed to get stuck.

"...Have-you-ever-seen-a-piano-fly? Of-course-you-haven't-don't-be-vain-vain-vain-vain-"
Magnum gave him a gentle bop on the nose with his helmet. (Don't worry. It didn't hurt. You must remember that Fleablers' helmets weigh no more than that piece of dust you see flying in the air before you now.) It weighed just enough to zip The Hare out of his repetition.

"I say!" he declared. "That was quite unnecessary. Ouch, that smarts."
"Did you become British in the last few seconds? And that did not hurt. Don't be a baby."
"Oy! 'ow dare you accuse me of bein' a baby!" The Hare still spoke in a British accent, only it had shifted from a high class British accent to a Cockney one. Or perhaps it was Australian. Magnum wasn't quite sure.
"I'm just going to ignore that. Why did you just call yourself a Fleabler? Judging from your height, fur, and badge that says 'I am a Hare, not a Fleabler', you are, in fact, a hare. Not a Fleabler."
"I never said that!" Iranian accent
"Yes you did!"
"Did not!" Southern accent
"Which one of us has that nasty bump on his head?"
"You." Sign Language
"Nice try. You're obviously not well if you keep switching languages like- Holy Macaroni!" Here, Magnum had a rather epiphanous epiphany (Look, if you keep challenging me on the words I use, we'll never finish this story. Which one of us is the writer here? Don't answer that.) The Hare must be one of a long line of Royal Bunnies! Magnum thought. The reigning family of Haredom! This might even be the prince! (Or at least a distant cousin.) Only royalty knew so many languages! (Or accents anyway.)

"I do not mean to interrupt, but what just happened in your head?" French accent. (Accen'!)
Magnum considered not saying anything, but decided that perhaps this Hare could bring peace betwixt their two rival tribes!
"Well..."

The Hare: Ch. 5

We interrupt your regularly scheduled programming for this service message. We at The Birthday Skunks do not endorse Fleabler cruelty in anyway. Please do not harm your fleas. Thank you.

A crashed hair! I mean, Hare! His tiny little jet was crumpled and smoking and the Hare was toppled over out of it, one leg bent inside. He looked like a rag doll minus the stuffing. When Magnum saw this horrendous crash site, his tiny Fleabler heart swelled with compassion and terror. And that's a lot of stress to put on a heart that could fit inside of a freckle.
The Hare groaned and turned towards Magnum. He was wearing goggles and a silk scarf.
"AAAIIEEEEE!!!!!" the Fleabler shrieked in terror.
"AAAIIEEEEE!!!!!" the Hare replied.
"Why are you screaming?!" Magnum wailed.
"I don't know! Why are you screaming?!" the Hare replied.
They both stopped screaming.
"I think I broked my leg," said the Hare.
"Broked? I think you might have sustained a head injury as well."
"Ha! That's what you think! We Fleablers don't get hurt!"
"...FLEABLERS??" Magnum wondered.
He slowly began to realize that the Hare must have really bumped his head and now thought he was a Fleabler! What was a Flea to do...
. . .
Magnum yelled "SHOTGUN!" (which is a phrase you can yell almost anywhere except a crowded music theater - i cannot take credit for that . . . im watching psych.) Anyways, after Magnum yelled shotgun for reasons unknown to me. . .the hare who now thinks he's a Fleabler fainted. Magnum inched closer to the hare. He reached the hare's ears first, which seemed normal, then he tippy toed down the ears to the face. Then suddenly . . .

The Hare: Ch. 4

"Yes, Monticello," Jacopo began.
He, unfortunately never got a chance to find out what Monticello had been prepared to propose. For at that very second, a brigade of minuscule carrots began raining down on the delicate little Fleablers! They heard a fierce cackling as jet-flying, dive-bombing, carrot-flinging Rabbitteers (that is to say, bunnies in tiny jet planes) zoomed by, reveling in their attack. Never before had such a horrendous, unexpected event happen to the little fleas!
The fleas screamed in terror, watching the Rabbitteers circle around for a second barrage.
"AAAIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!" they screamed in unison as the Rabbitteers' re-formed into attack position.
Amidst all the chaos, one tiny Fleabler, Magnum, heard a violent rustling in the nearby dandelion patch. He went to investigate in hopes of either quelling an attack or acquiring help against the bumbling bunnies, bitsy flea-sized heart thumped in his chest.
Ba-dump. Ba-dump. Ba-dump...

The tiny Fleabler army crawled up to the edge of the bush. The bush stopped rustling long enough for Magnum to poke his head into the bottom corner of the bush. He jumped back as the bush began the shake again. He wondered around the bush slowly gathering leaves, licking them and sticking them on to his bony little legs as disguise. Did you know that Fleabler spit is very sticky? It's like super glue, really it is. . .go squeeze a flea till his tongue pops out and wipe his tongue on something and you'll see. ANYWAYS . . . the now tribal looking Magnum leaped into the bush only to find . . .